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Earnestly Scared Stupid

When I was a little girl (about 8 years old) I saw Ernest Scared Stupid for the first time. I think it is without a doubt, the best Halloween movie in the entire galaxy (now that’s a hyperbole!). My favorite scene stars Ernest trying to figure out what it is that destroys the troll. He comes to the conclusion that meack (me-ack) is the answer to end the terror of the booger-faced monster. Of course, it’s not meack but milk. The ugly thing was just allergic to dairy products. It’s just such a silly and fun movie.

Ernest TrollI was so afraid of this movie that I had a real difficult time going outside and when I did, I carried my brother’s baseball bat. I was terrified to walk down the driveway to get the mail because I was sure that huge troll had crammed himself into our standard-sized mailbox, and he was going to turn me into a wooden statue when I opened the door. This was a time when we lived in the private community in east Texas, so the driveway was not that long.

What a dork!

Beetlejuice was pretty awesome too, but way more scary to me back then. I hear it now, “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beeltejuice!” I used to imagine him in the curtains of our bedroom while everyone else was sleeping. It was awful (and wonderful) to have such a strong imagination.

Dad and a New Bass Boat

So, my dad thinks it’s time for a new bass boat. It’s rather exciting to see him giddy like a little boy, which only happens once in a blue moon. He’s a stoic man of 65 years of age. All of us refer to him as Clint Eastwood (he really looks like him too), especially after seeing Grand Torino. He gives great advice, but sometimes doesn’t apply such wisdom to his own life.

When I was 15 or so, he bought a motorcycle, then he got sick of it after 6 months, and I don’t think he’s cranked it since then.  Shortly after the motorcycle purchase, he bought a sports car. It’s a BMW M-series (not sure if those are made anymore) that he had custom designed. It’s a beauty, but he only drives it about 3 times a year. I guess the only thing that really matters is if it makes him smile. That’s pretty important.

So, now we move on to a new or used bass boat. I’m hoping he’s practical this time. I have directed him towards several online sites with the type of bass boat he wants, with  hopes that he will go with a used one, which will still be like ‘new’ to him.  I think we’re both quite fond of this boat. He loves red and this baby is a Stratos. From the reviews I’ve read online, it sounds like a great deal.

Watching the men in my life brings me to the conclusion that they are all very silly when it comes to man toys- Whether it be my dad and his shiny, fast vehicles or my brothers and their sleek, black rifles and handguns, or my friends and their iPads and iPhones.  Nonetheless,  they all make me smile and create the urge to roll my eyes.  I guess my cars and guns are jewelry and books.

Got a Twin? Me too (Part II)

I do have an identical twin. Ellie is considered to be one minute older, though that is altogether debatable since we were born in the early 80’s and my mom had a c-section. She was slightly over 5 pounds, while I was under 5pds.  My mom likes to reminisce about our tiny, but long fingers. I think we were deemed a miracle because Mom and Dad had 3 sons.

My mom told me a few years ago that my sister, Ellie and I took care of one another.  I think us taking care of one another somewhat hurt my mom’s feelings.  It, of course, was never intentional. Hell, I didn’t even know we were doing it.  So, if you are having twins or are a young twin beware of some sort of maternal neglect. I never had to worry about that with my Clint Eastwood father. He really is like the old gunslinger. That’s another place and time though.

Ellie and I are best friends, but a lot of resentment is born when we don’t see one another. I haven’t spoken to her in a week, and it basically sucks. I do notice that when I go to her house, she really takes care of me. “Would you like something to drink or eat?” We both love it when she cooks me dinner. I know, I know, I’m silly.

When I moved out of our parents’ house the final time (total of 2xs), it took 2 years for us to have a civil relationship. She recently told me that she was having separation anxiety, and that it was common in twins.  She got kind of scary depressed there for some time, but then again, I guess we both did.

I should refleTwin Girlsct on good/funny memories. Once when we were about 4, my mom took us to get our ears pierced. We knew something was wrong about 2 minutes into the drive because she was not driving in the direction of our preschool. She took us to the doctor’s office to have our ears stabbed. No wonder we were scared to death!  The doctor came in and we began to embarrass the hell out of my mom by saying to each other, “You go first. NO! You go first!”  We both walked out of that office earring-less.  Ha, sorry Mom, Game Over, You Lose!

It’s awesome being a twin. Though we’re definitely not as close, I can still read her thoughts, and feel what she feels.  I do believe we share a soul and clothes. I’m waiting on her to get sick of her new clothes. She wears them once or twice and their mine. I never had to buy clothes in high school.

Naturally, we have our competitive elements to us. She thinks I’m smarter and that I’m always right about everything. I told her the last time she said that that she was right.  Have to let her be right at some point, right?  I think she’s beautiful (she knows it) and flirts with significant others on purpose.  The funny thing is that neither one us work on fixing these insecurities. I’m not fashionable or socially presentable (most days), and she doesn’t read (of course she can-she has a psychology degree)

A large influence in my life with regards to Ellie is my thoughts. Or maybe the diction of my thoughts.  I say or think, “we,” “let’s,” and “us” A LOT!  I guess some things will stay with you forever. Thank God.

I don’t get it

Recently, I was on the hunt for a new silver jewelry necklace. I looked online and at stores, and I noticed a common, stupid trend. Yeah, these places advertised their jewelry with images of celebrities sporting similar products. Come on!  I am 100% sure that my fashion is not any in way influenced by celebrities. You know how I know this? I’m still wearing the same clothes and shoes that I’ve been wearing since five years ago.

Okay, that statement was truthful. Today, I am wearing older clothes.  I don’t watch enough tv or ever read magazines, so is my style mended by the fake personality of a celebrity? I suppose it’s the fashion designers and then the sticks that wear their lines. Am I having an identity crisis? No, I was just thinking about individuality, and I didn’t see any when I was shopping. It was annoying that these shops were marketing to  . . .hmm. I’ll save that thought for later.

I mean, who the hell cares what those camera junkies are wearing?

Mountain Life

North Carolina MountainsI’m visiting my aunt Sarah, this weekend. I’m excited because she lives in the hills of western North Carolina. She has a beautiful log cabin with the nearest neighbor miles away. How nice that would be?!  That’s what I want when I’m old. I can’t imagine living in the city for the rest of my life. That would be one of my biggest regrets.

Sarah has a pond behind her cabin with a nice little dock. She also has a garden with vegetables and fruits.  The last time I spoke to her, she was excitedly anticipating blueberries. I’m sure they’re plumb by now. Blueberry picking is fun. Her dalmatian, Dally, even helps.

Ah, the fresh smell of pine. It gets kind of cool in her house. I like visiting in the dead of winter.  She has a nice fireplace, but ironically her home is heated by propane gas. I guess as she has gotten older, she’s too tired to split her own wood. Gas is convenient because it’s delivered the same day she orders it, but it doesn’t give off that wonderful smell.  What’s more ironic is Sarah used to be a naturalist. She interviewed at Balsam Mountain Preserve when they first opened some ten years ago, but she didn’t want to move.

So, we’re going to the Saturday Umbrella Market located in Pritchard Park in Asheville. I love markets, and yard sales. I’m looking for vintage chairs. I sand them down, stain them and add new upholstery.  I have renovated two since last year. I’m working on  a  dining room table set of mix-matched chairs. Cool, right?  If I don’t have luck there, I’ll just shop for sterling silver jewelry! Either way, Sarah and I are going to have a blast.

Memories like the shadow . . .

Do you ever have those days when you sit and think about the past? I can’t seem to get my grandpa off my mind.  But it’s everyday, not just today. I see his face every time I see something like an article about aquamarine gemstones that reminds me of him. I know that sounds weird, but it’s not. He gave Ellie, my mom, and me aquamarine stones he had gotten from a friend in Brazil. After he died, my parents gave my sister and me the stones and we had them set into white gold ring settings. It’s easy for me to get sidetracked.

It feels like forever since the last time I spoke with him. I was 15 and it was 1999. He was a wonderful person. The kind you’re so happy to know, admire and love. I could live to be 2,000 and never be the great things he was.

A bird in the hand is worth two. . .

Balsam Mountain Eagle-The PreserveRecently, I read an article about preserving the life at Balsam Mountain Preserve, in the form of birds.  I didn’t know Bald Eagles had been on the Endangered Species list for such a long time. I realize I should know that, seeing how they had been on it for 40 years (12 of which I was happily skipping through).

 

The Eastern Screech Owl is also protected by this mountain community. I think this is wonderful because it is just such a peaceful and beautiful creature. I went online and visited the Balsam Mountain Preserve web site and they protect over 3 thousand acres and another thousand goes to Asheville and Waynesville NC real estate.

Anyways, Balsam has a program called The Birds of Prey, which is operated by the Trust, who are a group of  full-time naturalists. These naturalists educate the local schools and civic groups about the birds of prey. When these scientists have a bird that is unable to return to the wild (due to permanent injuries or disease), they take it to these locations and teach the different groups about it.

Eastern Screech OwlProtect our forests!

Ouch! My back hurts!

Last week during the family dinner, I was kneeling down and talking to my nephew. Out of the blue, my niece Loren, sneaked up behind me and jumped on my back. My back has never hurt this badly. I have a lot of knee pain from when I was younger, but I’ve never had this type of pain. There’s a monkey on my back! (Like the picture? Me too.)

Anyhow, so I thought, “Geez la Pete, what am I going to do?” I really don’t want to go to the chiropractors this month, but what else can I do? The pain was so intense that I couldn’t bend down to tie my shoes.

Instead of going to an appointment, I just found this awesome web site, where I started by reading about common spine conditions. I really just think it’s a pulled muscle. And then I found an exercise that’s already helping with the pain. Thank God!

 Spine Pain

I know I’m going to see that little bugger tonight. I’m thinking about jumping on her back. She’s lucky she’s only 2 and a half. Of course, I”m just joking. Oh no, she’s not going to be there tonight. She and her folks are vacationing at a private golf communities in East Tyler Tx . It must be nice!  They’ve been on vacation for about two weeks now.

Little Monkey

Heavy Little Vixen

You just wait little girl . . . until you are older . . .Wahaha!

Mom’s Birthday

MeowMy mom’s birthday is next Thursday, on the 14th. I was thinking about getting her a Persian cat.  She always talks about how she had a Persian as a little girl, and I thought it would be nice to make her feel youthful again. She’s going to be 63 years old.

Anyhow, she mentions the cat and how she always wished she had named it Pearl, instead of Tabatha (She’s always had this thing for the name Pearl-weird, right?). So, I thought about handing her a guide on how to clean pearl jewelry accompanied with a jewelry box. Inside the box, she’ll find a silver name tag that reads, “Pearl”.

I think she’ll love this gift, but at the same time I wonder if it’s just going to end up being too much work for her.  What if the cat’s a jerk? I always hear that Persians are  so sweet, but I could pick out an ass. It happens. She might end up with a cat she hates and she’s too nice to give it away or complain to me. I just keep thinking that she probably has at least 17 years left. Her side of the family lives to be ninety +, so it may be longer than that. I know that’s morbid, but what isn’t about life? Everything loses its energy at some point.

What do you think? Is this a bad idea?

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